The Flowey chronicles
by lozzadozza89
Summary: A collection of funny one shots featuring everyone's favourite evil Flower from Undertale.
1. Dalek Flowey

It was a Saturday afternoon up on the surface and Frisk was sitting in the front room watching TV and a certain Flower that was sitting in a flowerpot on the small table next to the couch was questioning the girl about the particular TV show she was watching.

"So basically, this show is about some guy who's actually an Alien from out of space that travels around in this small blue box thing that's bigger on the inside and he travels through time and space?" Flowey questioned "what do they even call this anyway?"

"It's called Doctor who" Frisk replied "it's also one of the longest running sc-fi shows in the world. I think it's been running for at least fifty two years now."

"And what about those Robot things that roll around yelling EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE, don't they call them garlics or something" Flowey pointed out.

"Daleks" Frisk corrected him "they're the Doctor's greatest enemies, he's been encountering them for years throughout the series. They've always tried exterminating him but never succeed." As the rest of the episode progressed, Flowey was beginning to become quite interested in the Daleks and asked Frisk what exactly they were supposed to be.

"Well basically" Frisk replied "they're evil Alien mutants and that big metal pepper pot shaped body they have is actually armour and they have no emotions whatsoever."

"So, you're telling me that Daleks are soulless beings with the desire to kill" Flowey implied with a smirk "cool, they're just like me. Hey, you know something, I reckon I could be a Dalek. Hey wait a minute, I've just had a wonderful idea" he looked at Frisk with a huge smile "Frisk, make me a Dalek."

"What?" Frisk asked "you want to be a Dalek?"

"Yes you Idiot" Flowey replied in an annoyed tone "put some wheels on my pot and stick some little cotton wool balls around it for the bump things and make that egg whisk things and sink plunger out of sticks and tin foil" his expression turned evil "then I can go rolling around yelling EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE." Frisk giggled at the thought of Flowey rolling around in his little flowerpot, pretending to be a Dalek and yelling exterminate but she didn't hesitate and began getting the things needed.

Later that day, Toriel was in the kitchen making another one of her butterscotch and cinnamon pie when she heard someone yelling "EXTERMINATE" and realising that it had come from the ground, she looked down to see Flowey by her feet and noticed that his flowerpot had wheels with little cotton wool balls stuck around it and there was a hand made egg whisk gun and sink plunger glued on the front.

"Flowey, what are you doing?" she asked with an amused expression.

"That's Dalek Flowey to you, I will exterminate every living thing on the surface" Flowey declared "In this world, it's exterminate or be exterminated." Just then, Frisk came bounding into the kitchen, wearing a huge brown jacket and bow tie,holding a plastic stick in her hand.

"My child, what are you doing?" Toriel asked.

"I'm the Doctor" Frisk replied "I'm here to stop the Dalek" she pointed down at Flowey who scowled up at her "from destroying everyone and taking over the universe. "

"It's Dalek Flowey, idiot and anyway, do you really think you can stop me, hee hee hee, you really are an idiot, no one can stop Dalek Flowey, catch me if you can" he taunted before pushing himself forward but he couldn't move very far "grrrrrrr, Frisk, give me a push." Frisk started giggling and gave Flowey a push with her foot and pushed him across the floor.

"So what kind of game is this then?" Toriel asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Doctor who" Frisk replied.

"Oh that show that the humans watch about the man who travels around in that blue box saving the world from all those evil monsters?" Toriel asked and Frisk nodded in response "I see, well, have fun playing your little game you two."

"This is not a game, I am now officially a Dalek and I will destroy all living beings in this world" Flowey declared "I vow this." For the next few days, Flowey was pretending to be a Dalek and trying to exterminate everybody but it was proving to be a failure due to the fact that the gun was made out of plastic and tin foil.

"Hah, your plan to exterminate everybody has failed" Frisk declared, still dressed like the Doctor "now accept your defeat."

"Never, I will not stop until every single human is destroyed" said Flowey in his best Dalek voice "I will exterminate every single living thing on the surface."

"Heh, good luck with that" Sans replied in amusement, not looking up from the newspaper he was reading and not noticing the evil glare that Flowey was giving him "anyway, you've been wearing all them Dalek things for days now, aren't you getting bored yet?"

"No, I will never get bored, I am Dalek Flowey and I will destroy all living things hahahahahahaha." After almost a week, Frisk was sitting in the front room doing her homework when she heard an annoyed muttering from Flowey who was on the small table next to the couch and the girl looked up to see that he was looking rather fed up.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"I don't want to be a stinking Dalek anymore" Flowey complained "it's been a week and I haven't been able to exterminate anybody, so I no longer want to be a Dalek."

"Well I don't think a plastic home made gun covered in tinfoil will be very good at firing death rays to exterminate people" Frisk implied "so, if you no longer want to be a Dalek, do you want me to take all that stuff off your pot?"

"Might as well, it's useless junk to me anyway" Flowey replied and Frisk began removing the homemade Dalek stuff from his pot and after she finished, she went back to her homework just as Sans came walking in and noticed that Flowey was no longer wearing his home made Dalek attire.

"So finally decided to give up the whole Dalek thing?" he asked as the Flower glared evilly at him "got bored in the end did you?" As Sans continued to taunt him, Flowey responded with some rather vulgar words which will not be mentioned as Frisk continued doing her homework.

"I hate you so much you smiley trashbag" Flowey snarled as Sans just chuckled and gave him a cheeky wink before leaving the room as Flowey groaned in despair "I'm surrounded by Idiots."


	2. A trip to the Dentist

A couple of weeks passed by since Flowey had been going round the house in his flower pot, acting like a Dalek until he eventually became bored with it all and right now, he was watching Frisk playing a video game which featured four children battling an evil god like Alien.

"So let me get this straight" Flowey implied "no weapons or anything can defeat can defeat this thing so they've got to use the power of prayer to beat this thing?"

"Yeah" Frisk replied, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"What will you do if you can't win, what if praying doesn't work and you're stuck fighting this being for ever and ever and ever and ever" Flowey taunted, only to be rewarded with an annoyed glare from the young girl "hey, I was just kidding."

"Just be quiet okay because I want to beat this thing and finish the game" Frisk replied not taking her eyes of the screen. She continued playing her game, trying to defeat the final boss and once she had final beat them, the girl breathed a deep sigh of relieve.

"Well that was really something" she commented "but I was getting a sense of deja vu during that fight." After she had turned off the console and TV, Toriel came into the child's room to inform her that it was time for her appointment with the Dentist.

"Okay" Frisk replied before she went to put on her shoes.

"Why do you have to go to the Dentist anyway?" Flowey questioned before turning to the kid with a look of pure evil "are you going to have all you're teeth pulled out, he he he."

"No way" Frisk replied, rolling her eyes "they're just going to see if they're clean and healthy."

"Oh so I guess they'll pull them all out if they are dirty" Flowey implied with the same evil expression but Frisk only glared at him in response "hey, why are you looking at me like that, I only said your teeth will be pulled out if they're not clean."

"My teeth won't get pulled out, the dentist only removes teeth if they really need to, like if it's a really bad rotten tooth or something like that" she explained "anyway, i'll make you a deal, you come with me and if i don't get my teeth removed then you have to be good for the rest of the year, no evil doing."

"And what if you're teeth do get taken out, do I still get be be a naughty and evil little Flower?" he asked only to receive a raised eyebrow from the young human girl "I guess that's a no then, well whatever, I'm not gonna change my personality even if you get all your teeth pulled out or not."

"Okay but don't do anything evil whilst we're at the Dentist" Frisk warned as she put on her shoes before picking up the troublesome little Flower and heading downstairs where Toriel was waiting for her.

"Are you ready my child?" she asked and Frisk nodded before noticing who she was carrying in her arms "Oh, you're going to bring Flowey along with you?" Frisk nodded.

"Yeah, I want to see if she's going to get all her teeth pulled out" Flowey replied with an evil grin "that should be entertaining to watch, he he he" Frisk glared at him "hey, why are you looking at me like that?"

"I already told you that I won't be having my teeth pulled out" she replied "the dentist is only going to see if they're clean or not." The three of them headed out to the car as Flowey continuously ranted about how pointless it was to go to some place every six months to have your teeth checked and how gross it was that they stick their fingers in people's mouths.

"It's gross, god knows where they're had their fingers before they put them in other people's mouths" he implied "they could have had them up their noses or someplace else."

"Actually dentists are very professional people" Toriel replied, not noticing that Flowey was silently mocking her "they wear rubber gloves when doing the procedure so that no germs get in the patients mouth and I don't think a dentist would pick their nose right before they put their fingers in another person's mouth."

"I wouldn't be sure about that old woman" Flowey replied with a smirk "you don't know if the dentist is sitting in his little room thing picking a great huge green slimy snot ball before you go in there and then he or she puts their fingers in your mouth without you knowing that they've had some green slimy substance from their nose before you go into the room, yeuck."

"Please will you stop talking about snot, you're making me feel queasy" Frisk replied looking a little green in the face "I'm already a little nervous about seeing the dentist so I would appreciate it if you don't go talking about them picking their noses."

"Oh feeling nervous are we, what's the matter, scared the dentist is going to pull out all your teeth with his bogey infested fingers?" Flowey taunted, sticking his tongue out.

"No" Frisk stated matter o factually.

"You are" Flowey taunted again in a sing song voice.

"Am not" Frisk implied, crossing her arms.

"Are too" Flowey stated, his tone sounding almost childish.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Okay that's enough the pair of you" Toriel said firmly as they arrived at their destination "we've arrived now." Toriel and Frisk got out of the car with Frisk still carrying Flowey in his plant pot and once they got inside, Toriel went to the receptionist's desk to confirm Frisk's check up whilst the young girl went to sit down whilst holding Flowey on her knee and it didn't take long for him to become bored so he decided to pass the time by questioning members of staff if they had their fingers up their noses only to receive freaked out looks from most of them and knowing he wouldn't get any answer, he decided to make flatulent noises.

"Flowey if you don't behave yourself I'm going to have to put you in the car" Toriel warned.

"But I'm boooored" he complained in a childish tone "how much longer until Frisk get's called in?"

"I doubt it will be much longer" Toriel replied "just please behave yourself." After waiting some more, Frisk was finally called into the dentist's room and she went in taking Flowey with her because he was still wanting to see if she was going to have her teeth pulled out.

"Good day young lady and how are we today?" Frisk's dentist asked, he was a short plump man who was balding and wore small glasses "what's this?" he noticed who Frisk was carrying "this must be you're toy Flower." It was at that moment that Flowey decided he hated this pathetic fat assed human, how dare he refer to him as a toy, he decided there and then to let this idiot know the truth.

"Okay first things first buddy I am not a toy" he stated, making the fat little man squeak and jump back a little "do I look like a bloody toy."

"I'm Sorry it's just that I thought" he stammered before composing himself "Frisk, why don't you put you're little friend over here on my desk and take a seat then i'll take a look at your teeth." Frisk nodded and placed Flowey on the desk before sitting in the dentist chair.

"Okay now open wide" he commanded and Frisk did so before he proceeded to look at the girl's teeth "ah ha, yes, everything seems okay."

"So fat person, are you going to take her teeth out or not?" Flowey questioned with an evil smirk.

"No I will not be removing Frisk's teeth because they are perfectly healthy so they don't need removing" the dentist replied "and I do not appreciate you calling me fat person, I am Dr Frankson."

"Sorry I didn't quit catch that, Dr Frankenstein was it?" Flowey teased "so tell me Doc, if you're not going to pull out her teeth then what are you going to do with them then, i didn't come here for nothing."

"I won't be doing any thing with Frisk's teeth today because she doesn't need any thing done with them as they're perfectly healthy" Dr Frankson replied before turning to face Flowey who was now scowling "you know i can take a look at your teeth and see if they're nice and clean."

"Woah woah woah woah fatso" Flowey responded, trying to move himself away as Dr Frankson walked over to him "if you put those fingers in my mouth I can guarantee that they'll no longer be there when you take your fat pudgy hand out of my mouth."

"Come on Flowey it's not that bad" Frisk replied.

"Look here you Idiot you don't know where he's had those sausage like fingers of his, he could have had them up his nose or maybe his" he was cut off when Dr Frankson put his finger in his mouth and began checking his teeth and it wasn't long before the demonic little flower bared his sharp teeth and bit down hard on the sausage like finger.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh" Dr Frankson screamed, waving his arms around, trying to get Flowey off but he wouldn't let go of his finger "SOMEONE GET THIS THING THE HELL OFF ME." Meanwhile, Toriel was still in the waiting room when she saw Frisk come running in and immediately noticed that she was looking a little shocked.

"Frisk whatever is the matter dear?" she asked the girl "where's Flowey?" there was suddenly a high pitched scream and Dr Frankson came running into the waiting room waving his arms around like a lunatic and it didn't take Toriel to noticed Flowey hanging from one of his fingers by his teeth.

"SOMEONE GET THIS DEMON SPAWN OFF ME" he screamed, still waving his arms around.

"What on earth is going on?" Toriel demanded to know.

"Flowey bit him because he wanted to look at his teeth but Flowey didn't want him to put his fingers in his mouth but he didn't listen and did so anyway so Flowey bit him" Frisk explained as Dr Frankson proceeded to wave his arms around, trying to get Flowey to release his grip but he just wouldn't let go however after Dr Frankson had waved his arms around so much, he lost his grip and went flying off and Frisk had to watch him before he went flying into the wall.

"Flowey what on earth do you think you are playing at?" Toriel asked in a stern tone "what have I told you about biting people."

"But he started it, I told him not to put his fat dirty snot infested fingers in my mouth but the stupid idiot just ignored me and did it anyway" Flowey protested "I was provoked." After earning some strange and terrified looks from staff members and other patients, the three of them left the surgery and back home where Flowey was put into time out for his shenanigans and Frisk was telling the others about what happened whilst Toriel was giving Flowey a firm telling off. Later that day, everyone was in the front room watching TV and Flowey who was still in time out was beginning to feel annoyed and bored and San's had started to tease him which didn't help much.

"Hey buddy, how's it going, having a nice time in your time out" the short skeleton teased.

"You know something sans my good buddy" Flowey replied in his nicest tone possible "if I had fingers I would be more than happy to show you my middle one."

"Well too bad because you don't have any" Sans mocked which pissed off Flowey even more "so I guess you won't be able to show me your middle finger."

"Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisk" the evil little Flower whined dramatically "do me a favour and give Sans the finger for me, I would do it myself but you know I can't do so because I don't have any."

"Sorry no can do" Frisk replied with a smirk "mom says I'm not allowed to use any rude hand gestures." Flowey groaned in dispair and hunched over but not before he straightened himself up again, showing his demonic expression and threatened to kill Sans in his sleep but the blue sweater wearing skeleton only responded by putting a bucket over the little demonic weed before dusting off his hands and walking away.

"Oh how funny, how veeeery funny indeed" Flowey replied with sarcasm "but just you mark my words you smiley trashbag, when you least expect it, your end will come."


End file.
